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Take a step back before launching yourself into this entry. I can promise you right now it's gonna be whiny and angsty. Why? Because I'm deciding to take comfort in the pity of strangers on a shitty day. You can read it and ignore it, read it and yell at me for being a whiny bitch, or offer words of advice. I don't care. This will make me feel better and that way I won't have to bottle things up again until I explode, which is never pretty.
So, on Halloween my friends and I rented a movie, Amityville Horror, on my parent's account. It was due Wednesday. It got turned in today. My mom got really pissed and reminded me about it at least three times a day when I couldn't even fucking contact the person whose house it was at. SO, today I was over there and I took it and drove it up to the store. People now owe me money so I can pay the late fee. Doesn't matter if it wasn't your fault for leaving it at Carolyn's house...I'm pissed enough that NOBODY remembered that I'm charging you all, even if you didn't watch much of it.
Then, on Sunday, my parents surprised me at 9 am with a trip up to Camano Island. Yes, I love our family friends who live up there, BUT I was counting on Sunday being an empty day so I could do my massive mountain of homework. So I went, then came back just in time for my indoor soccer game at 4:30 that afternoon. Then I get in the car and my mom says to my dad "So, are we gonna go get food before going to your mom's?" and I go, "WHAT?!?!?!?! We're going to grandma's too?!" and then the got all mad at me because I'm supposed to know that we almost always go to my grandma's for dinner on Sundays. So I was like "Yeah, but I also happen to have A TON of homework still because I can't do half of it without a compter!"
They weren't very happy about having to take me home.
Then today I was having a rather good day, and then my friend down the street calls me. "Ruben and Brian came over, but went down to the lake and won't let me hang out with them. Wanna come over and do homework?" So I called my mom, got permission to come back around 6:30-7, and went down there, where I proceeded to dive into my, again massive, mountain of homework, all due tomorrow because of the three day week this week. (Yay, I guess) So around 5:36 my mom calls me and is all, "Have you returned the movie yet?" "No, I'm trying to work." "Ok, well come home right now and do that, then take down all the Halloween decorations, there are boxes in the closet-" "Mom! I have a mountain of homework tonight." "Yeah? Well you should get on that." "I'm trying to!" "Well you should have more time to work around th house." In my head I replied "Yeah? well you're the one who wanted me to do fucking full IB at school. I'd rather not have this much homework either!" But, I'm horrible with confrontations with my parents so I just was like, "yeah, ok." She proceeded to let me know that she was taking my brother to his training thing, and they'd be back around 7:30, but I needed to come home right away just to take that damn movie back. So I did, and now I'm looking at the amount of homework I have left, and the amount of Halloween decorations we have, and am ready to just throw myself onto my bed and cry for hours, except for two things. 1) If my mom came home and found me like that she'd just get more pissed. My mom is scary when she's pissed. 2) I wouldn't get anything done, and I like having ok grades thanks. 3) My mom's fucking scary when she's pissed.
Oh, and then there's the fact that I feel SUPER guilty for something that I shouldn't feel guilty for at all. So I'm beating myself up mentally about that as well as all this now, and I know that I don't have it nearly as bad as other people, so I'm beating myself up for getting angsty about shit like this too, and I don't even actually know. I just wanna go to sleep and get lost in happy dreams. Or a good book. Good books help too.
Fuck. I said I wouldn't cry. Too late.
So, on Halloween my friends and I rented a movie, Amityville Horror, on my parent's account. It was due Wednesday. It got turned in today. My mom got really pissed and reminded me about it at least three times a day when I couldn't even fucking contact the person whose house it was at. SO, today I was over there and I took it and drove it up to the store. People now owe me money so I can pay the late fee. Doesn't matter if it wasn't your fault for leaving it at Carolyn's house...I'm pissed enough that NOBODY remembered that I'm charging you all, even if you didn't watch much of it.
Then, on Sunday, my parents surprised me at 9 am with a trip up to Camano Island. Yes, I love our family friends who live up there, BUT I was counting on Sunday being an empty day so I could do my massive mountain of homework. So I went, then came back just in time for my indoor soccer game at 4:30 that afternoon. Then I get in the car and my mom says to my dad "So, are we gonna go get food before going to your mom's?" and I go, "WHAT?!?!?!?! We're going to grandma's too?!" and then the got all mad at me because I'm supposed to know that we almost always go to my grandma's for dinner on Sundays. So I was like "Yeah, but I also happen to have A TON of homework still because I can't do half of it without a compter!"
They weren't very happy about having to take me home.
Then today I was having a rather good day, and then my friend down the street calls me. "Ruben and Brian came over, but went down to the lake and won't let me hang out with them. Wanna come over and do homework?" So I called my mom, got permission to come back around 6:30-7, and went down there, where I proceeded to dive into my, again massive, mountain of homework, all due tomorrow because of the three day week this week. (Yay, I guess) So around 5:36 my mom calls me and is all, "Have you returned the movie yet?" "No, I'm trying to work." "Ok, well come home right now and do that, then take down all the Halloween decorations, there are boxes in the closet-" "Mom! I have a mountain of homework tonight." "Yeah? Well you should get on that." "I'm trying to!" "Well you should have more time to work around th house." In my head I replied "Yeah? well you're the one who wanted me to do fucking full IB at school. I'd rather not have this much homework either!" But, I'm horrible with confrontations with my parents so I just was like, "yeah, ok." She proceeded to let me know that she was taking my brother to his training thing, and they'd be back around 7:30, but I needed to come home right away just to take that damn movie back. So I did, and now I'm looking at the amount of homework I have left, and the amount of Halloween decorations we have, and am ready to just throw myself onto my bed and cry for hours, except for two things. 1) If my mom came home and found me like that she'd just get more pissed. My mom is scary when she's pissed. 2) I wouldn't get anything done, and I like having ok grades thanks. 3) My mom's fucking scary when she's pissed.
Oh, and then there's the fact that I feel SUPER guilty for something that I shouldn't feel guilty for at all. So I'm beating myself up mentally about that as well as all this now, and I know that I don't have it nearly as bad as other people, so I'm beating myself up for getting angsty about shit like this too, and I don't even actually know. I just wanna go to sleep and get lost in happy dreams. Or a good book. Good books help too.
Fuck. I said I wouldn't cry. Too late.
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